Intensive labour required
I really want to like this ad for Kiwi beer brand MOA but the quality of the copywriting just irks me.
Is it grammatically correct?
Probably.
I just find its attempt to be clever is coming across a little clumsily.
Nice idea.
But if I was the CD on the job I'd have told the writer to keep polishing.
posted by Stan Lee at 3:14 am
7 Comments:
That "5/100" mark in the pic has nothing to do with me kids. I screen grabbed the ad from an online magazine.
I see where they're coming from, but yes, I think it's clumsy as well. Doesn't read well.
Art is part of the problem - breaking 'Labour intensive' onto two lines makes it more awkward than it needs to be.
Agreed. Mixing the positive message and "positive irony" is also adding to the clunkiness.
Traditional and Labour Intensive are positives for the product.
Costly and Inefficient are not - but we are lead to think these negatives result in a positive for the consumer.
I think it reads better if you don't mix the two, whichever you decide is the more attractive benefit.
A). Brewed using costly, inefficient and labour intensive techniques.
or
B). Brewed using traditional, labour intensive techniques.
Thanx for your contributions everyone!
The typography and design make the copy look worse than it is (and it's not great).
Cute idea though.
Very true Tomas. Very true.
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