Headlines of the year

These are the year's best from satirical mag The Onion. Props to the Guardian for sending them to my inbox.

Man With Apple Hovering In Front Of Face Sues René Magritte's Estate

New VH1 Show Cancelled For Not Being Pathetic Enough

Woman Profoundly Moved By Lyrics Artist Put Zero Time Or Effort Into

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

'I Am Under 18' Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet

Powerful 'His And Hers' Towel Lobby Stalls Gay Marriage Legislation

MTV Movie Awards Snubs Director Jonas Mekas Yet Again

Commas, Turning Up, Everywhere

Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequences

History Doomed To Repeat Itself, Reports Man Who Just Dropped Food On Pants